How to hack IKEA

After spending 3 hours in an IKEA store over a two-day period on a sojourn for a $79 footstool, I realized that IKEA is not a store.   It is a computer that will sell you furniture.  The people who work there, and the building itself, merely serve the computer.  However, like all computers, IKEA can be hacked.

If the computer says “Neh,” then the IKEA employee has been taught to believe that he is powerless to overcome it, even when it leads to an absurd result.  This happened to me yesterday, when I was allowed to get an order printout with a barcode and to pay for the footstool, being told it was “in stock,” only to wait 20 minutes to pick it up and be told that I could not have the footstool, because it was up too high to get without a forklift, and they were not allowed to operate the forklift when the store was open.  How would I then get the footstool, ever?  This question was met with shrugs and “we don’t know”s, and offers of a refund.

In other words, I paid for a footstool, the footstool was on the shelf, but I was not allowed to get it.  The employees were very nice and apologetic, but had no solution for the problem other than to give me a refund.  They could not even tell me whether, if I visited the store tomorrow, I would be able to acquire the footstool or not.  And no, they could not possibly make an exception to their “we don’t hold merchandise” rule in order to operate the forklift after hours, get my footstool, and hold it for me until the next day.

Today, I finally walked out of the store with the footstool, but only after having sought the assistance of SIX people (on top of the FOUR yesterday, for a total of 10 employees involved), and waiting in lines for a total of almost 2 hours.  This gave me time to think about what works, and what doesn’t work, and how to hack the computer that is IKEA.  Here are your instructions:

1.  In seeking out an IKEA employee, find the oldest one you can.  Those with a few wrinkles remember back in the day when computers did not run the world, and have the life experience to realize that a computer giving an absurd answer needs to be worked around.

2.  In dealing with all IKEA employees, who are without question well-behaved and polite to a fault, it is best to take a “Nebraska nice” but firm attitude. 

3.  Even a wrinkled IKEA employee may need some encouragement to go up the chain of command to find a person who has the right credentials to say “no” to the computer and run a work-around.  Again, a nice, but firm, attitude on your part will win the day.

4.  Before you go to IKEA, decide for yourself just how long you are willing to wait to get that cheap stuff.  Compare that time with your hourly rate, and make a decision as to whether the cheap stuff is really worth it. 

5.  Sign up for the IKEA frequent buyer card while you are standing in line.  At least you will get a free coffee out of the deal.  Whether you give them an accurate email address is up to you.

Ryan and the lost memories of the Great Depression

During the Great Depression, my grandmother’s salary as an elevator operator (yes, that was an actual job) did not stretch far enough to provide for the three children she was raising on her own.  My mother’s elementary school was so concerned with her low weight that they sent her, along with the other skinny kids, to a “milk lunch” in the middle of the morning in an attempt to beef her up a little.  In the summers, she and her sister were shipped off to my great-grandmother’s Iowa boarding house cum maternity home cum bakery (out of necessity, grandma was quite the entrepreneur) to earn their keep cleaning, doing the laundry, and cooking, “from sun up to sun down.”  She made dolls out of sticks and hollyhock buds in the rare spare moment she had during these summers, and showed me how to do it when I was a child, although I didn’t understand the point when I had a toybox full of Barbies.   

My father recalled growing up during what he called “The Dirty Thirties” in similar straights.  He told of taking off his one pair of shoes at the end of the school year and not putting them back on until school resumed in the fall.  His family lived in a multi-generational household in cramped conditions, and he ran with the tough crowd on the south side of Lincoln, Nebraska under the protection of his older brother, probably because there was just not enough room to hang around at home.

With my father’s death at the age of 82 two years ago, this living memory of the Great Depression died in my family, as it has for others as that entire generation now fades in assisted living centers all across America.  As a result, the current generation of decision makers and those in power are left without that living memory of just how bad things can get when there are few regulations and almost no social safety net.  You therefore end up with the very young Paul Ryan, born in 1970, who believes Ayn Rand and her cult of selfishness were just dandy and that to “prevent violent crime in the inner cities” all you have to do is “bring opportunity to the inner cities” and “teach people good discipline, good character.”  "That is civil society," Ryan said. “That’s what charities and civic groups and churches do to help one another make sure that they can realize the value of one another.” 

Bread for the World, a faith-based anti-hunger group, estimates that churches would have to fund their food pantries by raising an extra $50,000 each year to make up for the cuts called for in the Ryan’s “Path to Prosperity” budget.  Apparently, addressing inner city poverty with little support from the government requires more than “teaching people good discipline, good character;” it also requires Bain Capital level rummage and bake sales. 

The Romney/Ryan budget (which we now need to call it, although Romney still disavows any knowledge of its particulars) also calls for drastic cuts to Medicaid, which the Kaiser Family Foundation found would “almost inevitably result in drastic reductions in coverage,” as well as enrollment.  Medicaid pays for the nursing home care of many of these fading Great Depression survivors, the costs of which, if borne by their families, would quickly deplete most middle-class families’ assets.  (Medicare only covers the first few days of such care.  After that, Medicaid or private insurance must kick in or the family must pay.)

Medicaid also pays for care for poor and disabled adults and children, such as many of the clients I represent in claims for disability benefits under the Social Security Act.  Medicaid is literally the lifeline for these people, who depend on it for medication and primary care.  Apparently in Paul Ryan’s Ayn Randish world, these folks are to be left by the side of the road awaiting a Good Samaritan, and they are not the government’s or our problem.

Paul Ryan is a staunch and conservative Roman Catholic, and I suspect that it must be hard, while prepping for Thursday’s debate and campaigning, to avoid the Nuns on a Bus  who are fired up and back after him, presumably with wooden rulers in hand ready to rap across his healthy knuckles.  

Vice President Biden is getting a lot of advice this week, prepping for his debate with Ryan, and he certainly doesn’t need any more from little old me, as I’m sure he has thought of all of this.  I just ask that while you watch the debate, try, if you can, to see Ryan through the eyes of a Great Depression survivor.  On Election Day, vote your conscience, with their memories in mind.

Almost every day of my law practice for the past 24 years has involved listening to someone tell the same tale over and over, with minor variations thrown in. They worked until they got sick or injured. They had health coverage for a while through one program or another, or their employer sponsored health insurance, but there came a day when they still needed health care and the bottom dropped out. Their COBRA ran out, or they couldn't afford the COBRA in the first place, or their spouse on whose plan they depended died, or lost his job, etc. The variations are endless but the bottom line is the same--no way to pay for necessary health care costs. The result? Disability, bankruptcy, divorce, and the loss of a productive member of society.

According to the tea party and Kill the Bill rhetoric, I guess this situation is okay with some people. I'm guessing none of those spewing this line of thought have ever personally found themselves in the situation of needing to get health care in order to live and having no way to get it. Or worse, watching a spouse or child in that situation and being utterly unable to help them.

My job is to help my clients get on Social Security disability, which in turn can get them Medicare or, sometimes, Medicaid. It is an arduous, lengthy process and shouldn't require the assistance of a lawyer, but it does. I have had many cases over the years where, had my client had reasonable access to care, he or she would not have ended up disabled and needing lifelong disability benefits (paid for by us taxpayers). The classic example that I have pointed to many times was my client, a young woman whose husband died, leaving her without insurance, who then broke her hip and couldn't get any help because, according to the University Hospital ER, it wasn't "an emergency." By the time I got her on Medicaid, it was too late to restore full function to her hip. She will likely be on lifetime disability benefits (and Medicare) in part because there was no way for her to get the help she needed when she needed it.

I am under no illusion that the health care reform bill passed yesterday will help all of the people who need it, but it is a step in the right direction. The status quo is simply not sustainable. The current system costs us more in dollars and well-being and in the cohesiveness of society than this bill ever will.

I simply have no more patience for anyone who thinks this is socialism or "bad for business" or creates a death panel or any of the other lies and garbage being spewed. My experience tells me you are wrong, the hard facts and no less than the Congressional Budge Office says you're wrong, and my clients will all tell you that you are wrong. These are real live human beings and I am looking forward to being able to cut back a little on my office Kleenex budget in years to come.

God Bless those who stood up for what is right and got this bill through.

If Republicans ran the water system

What if the Republican Party/Tea Party folks were in charge of the water system in your town?

You might be lucky enough to work for an employer that provides clean water as a benefit. Of course, you would have given up pay increases and other benefits over the years in order to hang on to that precious water. And, when you lose your job you lose your source of clean water and have to go out on the open market to get it somewhere else. If you've ever actually drank the water in the past, you will be charged astronomical rates, if you can find a provider at all. Most water providers will charge at least twice as much as as the employer sponsored program, but hey, you should have thought of that before you lost your job.

If your employer does not provide you with clean water, or you are unemployed, you have to find water where you can. If you have a source of income and own land, you might be able to dig a well on your property and treat the water yourself. If not, you will have to get it from your nearest stream or river and treat it yourself by putting a few drops of bleach into every bottle you dip out of the stream. Of course, if someone sells you a bottle of bleach that turns out to be some other random chemical, or just plain water, you have no recourse against your supplier regardless of how sick you got from drinking untreated water, because our friends the Republicans have enacted tort reform that prevents you from suing for more than the cost of the bottle of bleach.

If you are just desperately poor, with no land, no bottle to dip into the stream, then you have to line up at the County fairgrounds once a month for the free water handouts sponsored by the local charitable groups. And when they run out, they run out, and you'll have to get in line earlier the next time.

Under this system, people get sick and die because of tainted water. Sometimes people who have sources of clean water get sick anyway because they come in contact with the great, ahem, unwashed.

Of course, the very wealthy don't see any problems with this system. They can afford to dig deep wells and buy fancy reverse osmosis treatment systems to provide a lasting source of clean, fresh water. "What's the problem?" they ask.

The progressives, however, say hey, what a screwed up system! Wouldn't it be better if we all shared in the basic cost of a water treatment plant, provide clean water to everyone at a lower overall cost, and increase the overall level of public health?

In essence, this is the health care debate. The basic problem is that Republicans and their Tea Party friends find no problem with the current system. They have their clean water/health care, and it's the finest in the world. What is the problem? Why should they invest in a system that will provide clean water/Health Care to all, if that is their basic belief?

Bottom line: it is hard to get someone invest money into fixing a problem that they believe doesn't exist.

Perspective

I write this while waiting for a plane in the Grand Junction, Colorado, airport. Such a nice town, such nice scenery, such nice people. Wineries within biking distance of downtown, a sweet little main street with sculptures (some that move!), great little restaurants, funky little antiques stores, and some of the best of God's Country within a 10 minute drive. I'm here less than 24 hours at a time usually, for hearings in the old courthouse (that I can walk to from my Main Street hotel), and always promise I will come back for a longer stay, yet never seem to get around to it.

Anyway, here are today's observations to lend perspective:

Rented a car here, total cost with tax, fees for this and that, and basic rental totaled $30.

Refilling the gas tank with the 6 gallons of gas I used, almost the same amount, $28.

Meanwhile, I read in the paper that gas in France is setting those fine folk back a whopping $10 a gallon (best not to ask what it is in Euros). Had I been buying my 6 gallons there, I would have spent $60, twice the cost of the rental of the car.

Last week, filling up my van's gas tank, (a vehicle which I hardly ever drive anymore due to its relatively low gas mileage), cost $61, which means that if I worked for minimum wage, I would have had to work 10 hours (more than that if you are counting taxes) to buy that tank of gas.

Whew! Solutions, of course, include more public transportation, more efficient cars, etc., etc. We know what to do, and have known for many years, but now that the economics are in place, perhaps we will finally get serious.

Love to all from the High Desert,
Ann

Today's epiphany: We Matter

I surf The Huffington Post and Mike's occasional blogs on Open Left primarily as a way to procrastinate when faced with another pile of tedious medical records involving a client's L4-5 spondylosis and/or fibromyalgia and depression. (After 22 years of this, if you've read one, you've read them all.) So I don't claim to be an expert, or a pundit, or anything other than a casual observer, but this morning I was reading a Washington Post story and had a revelation about why this election has grabbed the country by the throat.

It is, simply, that formerly disenfranchised people suddenly realized that they matter, and they have some control and thus, some power. And they don't want to give it up, now that they've tasted it.

Majority Whip James Clyburn, a representative from South Carolina, points out that Hillary argues that she wins the white vote in PA, but only 8% of the black vote, and Obama can only win 35% of the white vote, and that's supposed to make everyone support Hillary, because Obama can't win without the white vote. I.E., the black vote doesn't matter. And Rep. Clyburn, who is African-American says, "I matter."

Hillary and her people say, look, she can win the big states, and frankly, "we're not going to win Wyoming anyway" (where Obama took 2/3 of the vote, which was, let's face it, mostly white). Well excuse us, say the Wyoming Democrats, but we matter.

Standing on the shoulders of Howard Dean's 50-State Strategy, Obama has inspired millions of formerly disenfranchised voters of all races and ages to get out and make a difference. The Wyoming Democrats were thrilled to be able to make a difference in their caucuses, as we lonely Arapahoe County Dems were here in the increasingly "purple" State of Colorado. And what do you mean you can't win in Wyoming? Wyoming has a Democratic governor, which belies the argument that a Democrat cannot win a majority of the Wyoming general election vote. (Same for Montana and Colorado.)

And not only does writing off the "small states" offend those who came out to make a difference in their caucuses this year, it ignores the fact that the races "down ticket" matter, and for the person on the top of the ticket to disregard that state is just bad politics. He/she is going to need those "down ticket" office holders in order to function effectively once in office. Why offend those you will need to do your job?

So what we have here is a common sentiment brewing among such diverse people as an African American representative from South Carolina and the good-ol-boy rancher in Wyoming. They say, "we matter, and you ignore us at your political peril."

Okay, back to the medical records!

I'm sure Comcast hates me now

One of my clients, a nice, intelligent lady, called to say she was having trouble paying her health insurance premium, and was considering dropping it, and did I think that would be okay? Of course I did NOT think that would be okay, because she needs a lot of treatment and possibly surgeries in the near future, before her Medicare will kick in.

In discussing possible solutions, the conversation turned to her bills, possible bankruptcy, and her other household expenses. Turns out she is paying a big cable bill each month. I suggested she drop the cable, as her health insurance was surely more important.

Silence.

"But that's all I have left to do every day--watch TV!" (She is rather severely disabled.)

I encouraged her to think of some other way to obtain the same programming (our libraries here lend out DVDs of just about everything, movies, series, etc.) and pointed out that my husband and I, in 27 years of marriage, have never had cable, even though we could certainly afford it.

Another silence.

"Never?" she asked incredulously.

Nope. Never. Haven't missed it. If I hear about some HBO series I want to watch, I check out the complete season set at the library. For free. Frankly, if I had cable, I would spend all my time watching MythBusters and While You Were Out and Dirty Jobs and whatever is on The Food Network. I catch these whenever we stay in a hotel, and get my fill, and that seems to hold me until the next time.

We are not in the sticks. We live in a large metropolitan area with broadcast TV that includes all major networks, 2 PBS stations (one of which has 3 subchannels in HD with bizarre programming such as Austrailian Rules Football--I'm a big fan now--and news programs like the English version of "Russia Today"). We have 2 Spanish language stations, one of which seems to run nothing but soccer games, the other one nothing but telenovellas. So what cable adds to this besides MythBusters and FoxNews is beyond me.

So I told my client to think about it, and she promised she would.

Sadly, she called back and told me she was dropping her medical insurance premium, not her cable.

Sigh.